A letter to my younger self.

If you could go back and talk to your younger self, what would you say? I think most of us would talk about school, working, saving, and getting rid of certain people in our lives, things like that. We were not always good to ourselves, for many reasons, immaturity being the biggest one. So we made mistakes that we could have prevented if we just were to have actually listened a bit more to advice given to us. Being 18 years old and considered an “adult” really does not make you one. While there are many who are at that age ready to go out and live alone, there are many many more that are not. I was one of them. If I could go back these are some things I would tell myself in hopes of saving me from so much pain and suffering that could of been avoided.

Your Bad Decisions Will have Consequences Now or Later. Either Way It Will Mostly End In Regret.

Your always going to make mistakes. No one expects you to be perfect, it’s impossible. What I would like to warn you about are the things you know deep down are not ok. Like when your about to get behind the wheel intoxicated, or your about to try that white line under pressure or curiosity, or even when your about to go to a strangers house you just met, alone just because they seem nice. There will be many instances that your conscious will be telling you to stop or leave, listen to it. Whatever the scenario may be, just be aware there are going to be consequences. You can drink and get drunk for years and be fine. Then when your in your late 40’s dying in the hospital from hereditary liver conditions you were unaware of, leaving behind your family and friends, you’ll remember all those late nights, and regret every single one of them. You could get drunk once in your life, make one decision to drive, and end up in jail for involuntary manslaughter. Those are just a couple of different things with drinking alone that could happen now or later. Of course you want to live, and have fun. No one is saying you can’t. But if your not capable of thinking ahead, and planning not only for your safety but for others as well, then no, your not ready to do these things. People in their 20’s and 30’s are still doing these things and may seem fine now, but one day they will see the consequences too. Your life is precious, and you deserve to get the best things out of it. You will fail numerous times, with falling for the wrong guy, trusting the wrong friend, hurting people that didn’t deserve it, or even just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Just think, if what you’re doing could potentially harm a loved one in the future would you do so easily? Well you are doing exactly that when intentionally making a bad choice. So listen to that little voice, say no, walk away, call your mom, and get the most out of your short years of being young. You’ll have plenty more chances to make mistakes, don’t use them all up before you are old enough to really live.

Don’t Allow Your Life To Be Confined To One Person, If They Are Toxic.

This one is hard. Because I know you are a sucker for love. You love the little butterflies when they are around, you love seeing them walking towards you with that smile that melts your heart. Those cute messages and that warm feeling when they hold you. Being in love when your young is the best, because you don’t have the adult stress added to the relationship. Your so carefree and it’s all about them. When your at home or in school, you just want to be with them, see them, hear them. You literally can’t get enough. Then it gets to a point, where you don’t see or hang out with friends anymore. When your home, its straight to the phone or to their house. It’s great to have a relationship, and have someone to be there for you. What isn’t ok, is when your schoolwork is second to them, or when your life is only them. It isn’t because people don’t want you to be happy. When someone is good for you, they encourage you, push you to do better, tell you to listen to you parents, and have respect for you and your parents. When they are good for you, your grades will improve, you’ll smile more, and you will even glow with love. Someone who is bad for you will have you sneaking around, have you lying to friends and family, causing you to cry more that you used to, and be jealous and worried all the time. Its ok to have someone and want to make plans with and include them in your future. What isn’t ok is planning your future around them. Being a teen, and in a relationship, is bound to end sooner than later with so many obstacles in the way . So when you make your plans around them, and then they are gone one day, what are you left with? Now on the other hand, if you have your own plans, and then they leave, you still have things to move forward to. A good partner is someone who you can share your life with, not someone who your life is only all about them, because chances are, they aren’t exactly all about you.

Respect Your Parents More, They Are Doing What They Feel Is Best.

“One day, you will have kids and you will understand. ” That’s what your going to be told a lot, especially on the days your arguing and being difficult. It’s going to be annoying and your going to probably roll your eyes. Parents mean well when they tell you this. It’s straight and to the point. When your a teen, it doesn’t really mean much though, because you don’t exactly understand what they are trying to say. You see when you have a baby, your clueless on literally everything. You think you know how to raise a baby, maybe you read books, maybe you babysat a lot. Truth is, every baby, every situation is unique and it’s never easy. You spend years trying to feed and care for a baby that doesn’t understand many things, other than love. Then they grow up, and your still lost. Only now they talk back, and use your own mistakes against you. Your parents spent years raising you, and working to give you what you needed. They sacrificed a lot, just so that you could have food in your belly and a roof over your head. Not everyone chose to have kids at the time they did, but when it happens, there is no going back. So when your talking back, out of anger, they feel so much disrespect because they bent over backwards for you, and you throw a fit for not getting what you want. It isn’t just the fit though, it’s the facial expressions, the body language and the rudeness that is hard to see. Your parents love you and take care of things that you’ll never have to worry about under their roof, and you don’t see it. When your at you lowest, need money, need protection or comfort, they are there. So when your upset, and rightfully you can be upset, just remember, they are trying. They get mad, make mistakes, and say mean things too, but as the parent they deserve the respect, because one day, when they are gone, you’ll wish you could hear them yell at you just one more time.

Love Yourself More.

This is the hardest thing I’ve learned over the years, and i’m still working on it. Teenagers stress a lot, with at times a lot on their plates. To adults they are silly or small things, but it’s only because our stresses grew dramatically to we can easily forget how hard highschool can be. So one of the biggest regrets I can say I have is not loving myself more. Had I done that in my teens, I would have never settled for less. I didn’t think I could amount to much. I settled with thoughts that working a minimum wage job was it for me. I thought the next guy to say he loved me was it, because how could another person love me if I barely do? So you have to think that you deserve more. You are so much smarter than you give yourself credit for. Your capable of making more with your life, you just have to want it. Make better grades because you wont get another chance. Starting making a plan now, because life is tough as it is and not having a plan can really bring you down. I don’t mean have your whole life sorted out, I just mean, write some goals short term and long term, then accomplish them. Make a lot of friends and experience the good things that life has to offer. Enjoy your family and friends because you won’t see them often when you move out. Get a job and save money, because nothing in this world is free. Give yourself time to grow, and let yourself feel pain, but don’t let it stop you from moving forward. Give yourself more credit, and know your worth. If you can learn how to do this young, nothing will hold you back for chasing a better life.

I know there are countless things that I didn’t mention, that are also very important, but these are some things I struggled with. So If I could go back, these are a some of the topics I would mention. Teens are a tough topic, and raising one is even more tough. The best thing I can do is be what I needed when I was younger. I have a pre-teen and I know these talks are getting harder. We learn from our mistakes and try to help others do better. Being a parent is a very hard job.

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