My depression doesn’t mean I think my life is horrible.

I’m not quite sure why, but people seem to always need to point out how I shouldn’t be depressed because I’m blessed with 4 kids.

Almost as though depression doesn’t happen to certain people, only those who “Should” be unhappy???

Ok, that’s not how depression works. It doesn’t care who you are, where you come from, the color of your skin, your age, it does not discriminate.

I don’t choose to have depression, and though there are some types of depression that are somewhat easier to deal with, there is also a type of depression that makes you feel like you have no control over your own mind.

If you haven’t experienced it, you would never fully understand, and I truly hope you never do.

You see for whatever reason, genetically, life experiences, and other factors caused my brain to become chemically imbalanced.

I have many things I’m thankful and grateful for, including my kids, family, and friends.

You see what I have now in my life, but you have no clue what my past holds.

I’ve been bullied, I use to self-harm, I’ve been molested, I tried committing suicide twice, and I’ve been emotionally and physically abused, all before the age of 20.

I never talked about it, dealt with it, or got help to deal and cope with any of it. Is my life worse than yours? Probably not, that isn’t the point though.

You see, what one deals with in their life, may not have affected you the way it would someone else. We are not wired the same way.

It could be a build up of things to cause one person to have depression and for another just one experience that causes thiers.

I hold things in, isolate myself, and pretend I’m ok.

I still make it a goal to make others laugh, and always smile, because I don’t want anyone else to feel my sadness even for a second.

I know I am blessed, and when someone tells me to be more grateful, your just pouring salt into my wounds. I know what I have and I wish someday I can enjoy it more.

Until then, I just need understanding, patience, support, and maybe just a listening ear without judgment.

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